


I Want You Back

by CeiphiedKnight



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cutting, Dorks in Love, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Control, Science Boyfriends, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-08 05:59:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14098779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeiphiedKnight/pseuds/CeiphiedKnight
Summary: Dr. Hermann Gottlieb knew that he was the only one who could save Newt. He just wished that everyone else was more supportive and less cynical.Or: That time some butthurt aliens brainwashed my sort-of boyfriend.





	1. What Hurts the Most

**Author's Note:**

> I decided that I would write the fanfic I want to see in the world. 
> 
> Takes place immediately after the events of Pacific Rim Uprising. Because, seriously, what even was that ending?

“I wonder,” Dr. Gottlieb said, so softly that Jake Pentecost wasn’t sure if the man was even addressing him, “If Mount Fuji would have been part of his plan if I hadn’t told him about the kaiju blood?”

It was a rhetorical question at best, but Jake felt that he should answer, if only to rid the mathematician’s face of the darkness he could see setting in. 

Guilt. Shame.

Jake noticed that Gottlieb’s eyes had never once wavered from his friend (partner?) who was locked up and restrained like an animal. As far as Jake was concerned, the man who had once been Newton Geiszler was gone, and the thing strapped to a chair in a cell was nothing more than the monster who was responsible for Mako’s death.

If Jake had his way, Geiszler would be dead. He had committed unforgivable atrocities.

But it wasn’t up to Jake. Gottlieb was adamant that they help Newt, and with Liwen’s help, they thought it might be possible.

“Who knows,” Jake replied, finally turning away from the thing that used to be Newton Geisler, “But it doesn’t matter. He did enough damage well before Tokyo.”

Gottlieb flinched, as if he had been physically struck. 

Jake turned to leave the scientist to whatever it was he planned to do, but paused in the doorway as he debated voicing one final thought. 

Finally, with his back to Hermann Gottlieb, he quietly said, “Even if you’re successful, what kind of life do you think there will be for him after all this? No one will trust him again, but more than that…will he be able to live with himself?"

Gottlieb said nothing as Jake walked away.

**

"Are you sure about this?" Liwen Shao asked, watching Newt through glass with wary eyes. 

"Yes," Hermann replied with as much confidence as he could muster. "I don't think he's as weak as the precursors let on, so if anyone is going to be able to break through, it's going to be me. It has to be me."

Liwen nodded. "Fine. Just be careful, and I'll be monitoring you from out here. But at the first sign of danger, whether against his welfare or yours, I'm shutting this down and extracting you from the cell. Is that clear?"

Hermann barely spared her a glance as he bit out, "Crystal clear. Though, I feel I must point out, that you are not my boss."

"Gottlieb," Liwen said, patience visibly failing, "This is a serious matter. Because I may not be your boss, but I was his, so I'm complicit in this. Maybe not in the eyes of the law, but in my own eyes."

With a sigh, Hermann turned to face the engineer properly. "I do understand that," he said, very softly. "I'm the person who knows him best. I've been inside his head. So, as you can imagine, I feel partially responsible for this because I never noticed that I was losing him. At first, right after the war ended, we were both too busy to meet up and spend any amount of time together. But as the years went by, I saw him less and less, because he always had an excuse. When we did get the chance to speak, he was withdrawn. It was easier for me to be angry at him than worried about him, so that's what I did. I thought, perhaps, working for your company in such an important role had just gone to his head. Which is silly, in retrospect. After all, Newton risked his life to drift with part of a kaiju brain, just so that we might have had a chance at defeating them. He wanted so badly to save the world. The Newton I know, my Newt, would rather have died than inflict any of this harm. So this is what he gets for decades of service. Brainwashed and tied to a chair in a steel cell."

Liwen lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry about your friend. Now I feel as though I've never even met the real Newton Geiszler."

Hermann gave her a small smile, just a twitch of the lips, and replied, "Don't worry, you'll be able to meet him soon. I'm sure of it."

Liwen had no further protests about Gottlieb's plan.


	2. I Wish I Could Heal You, and Mend Where You Are Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who the hell is Alice?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're only here for the smut, I have to apologize, because that's definitely not until chapter 4.

Hermann felt like he'd been standing in front of Newt for hours. Hours of green eyes that he had admired more than once in the two decades they'd known each other, but that now seemed devoid of life.

Hours that hadn't even passed. It had barely been a minute of staring into the face of a stranger.

It was Newt (or Kaiju Newt…K-Newt? Hermann wondered if he would find that was funny someday) who finally broke the silence.

"I know you," he said, grinning and licking his lips where they had been split by Nate Lambert. "I've seen inside your head. I know you're weak."

Hermann stood up just a little taller, holding his cane in a white-knuckled grip and responding in the most neutral tone he could manage. "Is that so?"

"It is," Newt said, in a voice that sounded too artificial. "You can't walk without aid. That alone would have been cause to destroy you, if you were one of us. But you are also weak because you love this man."

Hermann was taken slightly aback, but quickly schooled his expression. "You're wrong."

"I'm not," said Newt, pulling slightly at his bonds. "It was mild back then. More of an afterthought. But now…I don't have to see inside your mind a second time to know how you feel. What you would do to save this body."

"I didn't say you were wrong about me loving him," Hermann corrected. "And you should know that it's a person's mind that makes them who they are, not their body. You were wrong about love being a weakness. For us, it's a strength. So you should know that I will never stop until your hold on him is gone."

Newt considered him, looking at him with an expression that almost…almost looked like the real Newton Geiszler. 

"Herms," he suddenly said, so softly that Hermann thought that he had imagined it.

"Newton?" the mathematician gasped, dropping to his knees in front of his friend, despite the pain in his leg.

Liwen's voice came from outside the cell, over an intercom, "Dr. Gottlieb, you are too close. Back away from him."

Hermann ignored her.

"I can't," Newt gasped, no longer looking at Hermann, but looking past him, as if seeing something completely different than the cold, bare walls of his cell.

"Herms," he repeated, "I can't make them shut up. You have to kill Alice."

"Just who the hell is Alice, Newton?" Hermann asked, using his argumentative voice. The hope was that talking to him the way he always had would be familiar enough to bring the real Newt back. Like in therapy for amnesia patients.

But this wasn't amnesia, though Hermann would have preferred if it were. A known medical condition could be treated. There were no pre-existing treatment options for getting subliminal messages from an alien race because you drifted with part of their brain, twice.

Wait.

"Twice," Hermann whispered to himself. 

That was why he hadn't been affected. Hermann had only drifted with a kaiju brain once. Newt did it twice. And not only that, but the first time he did it alone and took the burden of the entire neural load.

"Newton," Hermann said, trying to sound soothing, "When Jaeger pilots drift, they aren't left with the ability to communicate telepathically. So how have the precursors had this hold on you for so long?"

Newt was quiet for so long, that Hermann thought he had lost him. But, finally, he gasped out a single word:

"Alice."

**

"Who is Alice?!" Liwen yelled at Hermann the moment he stepped out of the cell.

"I don't know for sure, but I'm beginning to get an idea. I must go visit Newt's condo. He always implied that Alice lived with him there."

Liwen crossed her arms and looked more than vaguely skeptical. 

"Aren't you friends? Why have you never met this Alice person before?"

Hermann looked a bit sheepish as he replied, "Because I didn't want to. If Newt had a live-in girlfriend, I wanted no part of it."

Liwen uncrossed her arms with a sigh. "You might find this hard to believe, but I understand. Humans are jealous creatures."

Hermann didn't even have the strength to bristle at the implication. Liwen had heard every word he'd said inside the cell. It wasn't quite like a drift, but it was pretty damn close. He felt raw and bare.

"Indeed," was all he could think to say.

"Well," Liwen continued, "I suppose you'll need his address. And I happen to have it. But I'm coming with you."

"Fine," Herman said, giving her a genuine smile. "And thank you."


	3. I Want to Know What Love Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Curiouser and curiouser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just saw the movie a second time. There was so much more I was able to pick up on, so I highly recommend seeing it again!

_"Take a look in the mirror_  
And what do you see  
Do you see it clearer  
Or are you deceived  
In what you believe  
'Cause I'm only human after all  
You're only human after all  
Don't put the blame on me..." 

**

Newt's condo was...not what Hermann expected. At all.

It was ostentatious, but not in his way. It was large, high tech, and well decorated.

There were no posters on the walls depicting Newt's favorite bands, movies, or Jaegers. 

(No kaiju either, thankfully.)

It looked like he had never lived there at all.

"Something wrong?" Liwen's voice broke Hermann of his reverie. 

"Not precisely," he replied, his eyes still searching for the real Newton Geiszler somewhere in the vast living space.

Liwen was not concerned with such things, and pushed her way past him.

"Alice!" She yelled, her voice echoing against the high ceilings.

There was no reply. No movement. Nothing but silence.

Hermann shook his head, symbolically casting his worries out of his mind. The sooner he figured out just what the hell Alice was (he was no longer under any allusions that it was a person) the sooner he could free Newton of the precursors. 

Hermann carefully stepped down from the entryway and into the rest of the condo. To his left appeared to be the bedroom. He stamped down the growing feeling of dread in his stomach and said, "His bedroom. I feel that what we're looking for will be in there."

Liwen considered the mathematician for a moment and said, "If you can tell that, can you tell if it's safe?"

"Oh, no," Hermann replied. "It is most definitely not safe. But the answer does lie in that room."

Liwen noted that Hermann had paled (more than usual) and had begun sweating.

"I'll go in first," she said, pushing past him again. "You're obviously too close to the situation."

Hermann knew she was just helping in her own way. He gave a grateful nod and watched her enter the bedroom.

"Oh, shit," he heard, almost immediately.

With a white-knuckled grip on his cane, Hermann finally approached the doorway and looked in side.

To the left, Liwen stood with her mouth agape as she took in a chamber that Hermann knew, immediately, contained a biologically sound bit of kaiju brain, which was created in a lab like the one controlling Obsidian Fury.

Looking toward the bed, Hermann spotted the Pons device that he knew, instinctively, would be there.

"He's been drifting with it this whole time," Hermann muttered, under his breath.

Liwen turned toward him and said, "I assume that this is Alice?"

"Yes," Hermann said with conviction, knowing he was right. Everything finally began falling into place. 

He had known that something had been wrong with Newton for years, but rather than press the matter, he had ignored the signs. Because he didn't want to be right. Just like with the triple event that very nearly won the precursors the war, there were times that he absolutely hated being right. Now that he was face-to-face with "Alice" he had to admit that he didn't want to know the truth because it meant that he'd lost Newton ten years ago. 

But had he spoken up, would things have reached this point? Would Newton have been easier to save in the beginning? There was no way of knowing.

Hermann crept closer to the tank, not even bothering to suppress the sneer of disgust on his face. Liwen backed away, giving him ample room to do whatever it was he planned to do. 

"Time to kill this bitch," Hermann said, swinging the heavy wooden handle of his cane at the tank. Glass broke, ammonia rushed out onto the floor, and the two scientists quickly covered their mouths and noses with a sleeve. Liwen rushed out of the room and Hermann smacked the brain with his cane one more time to make sure it was dead.

When he was satisfied, he followed Liwen.

Out in the condo's corridor, Liwen gave Hermann's arm a slap and said, "That was dangerous! That stuff is toxic! I know you know that!"

"Apologies," Hermann said. "Sincerely. I wasn't thinking, I just acted."

"Obviously," Liwen said, then turned on her heel and began walking away.

**

Hermann was practically vibrating as he waited for Jake to open the door to Newt's cell.

"Listen, doc," Jake said, blocking Hermann's path into the cell. "There's something you need to know before I let you go in there."

Hermann steeled himself. He'd seen the look on Jake's face many times before, on many different people. It was going to be bad news.

"Before you got back, Newt kind of...went comatose." 

Hermann blinked a few times before saying, "Pardon? He what?"

"He started jerking around, like a seizure," Jake continued. "We were about to rush some medical personnel in there, but it stopped almost as quickly as it started. And since then, well..."

Jake stepped aside and let Hermann see into the cell.

Newt still sat in the chair, tied down, but his head had rolled forward and was hanging as if he no longer had the strength to hold it up. 

"Newton!" Hermann shouted, moving as fast as his disability allowed. Once inside the cell, he fell to his knees once more, ignoring the pain, and placed his hands on Newt's cheeks, gently lifting his head to get a clear look at his face.

Green eyes met his, and the mouth smiled, but it was not Newton Geiszler. 

"He shouldn't have done that," said the hollow voice of the precursor. "He knew the consequences. So now we've had to put him to sleep, permanently."

"No," Hermann breathed out. "Please. What use is he to you if he's dead? What use is he to you if _Alice_ is dead?"

"So small minded," the being said. "He still contains all of the knowledge needed to create another Alice. Using him, there can be an infinite number of Alices. Or Adam, or Eve." 

The being chuckled, and a shiver ran up Hermann's spine.

"I don't believe you," Hermann said, face still level with green eyes that he hoped to see dancing with mirth again someday. "I don't believe you can truly do anything to him. As you said, he still contains the knowledge you need. You're a parasite, you're using him. Therefore, he's not gone."

The being was quiet for a moment, then breathed out, "Perhaps."

It was enough to give Hermann some hope. 

Before he lost his nerve, he leaned in too quickly for the precursor to act on it, and gently kissed Newton's lips.

It was only a split second, and then Hermann was retreating, standing shakily, and leaving the cell. He didn't stop, because he didn't want to crumble in front of the precursors. He also had no interest in seeing the reaction of the being holding Newt hostage.

Once outside the cell, and with the heavy steel doors locked behind him, he finally allowed the tears to come.

Jake considered the older man for a moment before saying, "You should have seen the look on his face."

"That's precisely what I didn't want to do, thank you." Hermann said, trying to get a grip on his emotions.

"Well, then, I guess you don't want to know that you left him slack-jawed and starry-eyed?"

Hermann frowned. "I'm sure I did surprise that thing, I doubt their race does much kissing."

"No," Jake said, and his tone made Hermann truly focus on him.

"That wasn't them. That was him."

Hermann considered Jake for a moment before saying, "How can you be so sure?"

Jake shrugged as he walked by Hermann and out into the corridor. "I just know."


	4. Rescue Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So many feelings. 
> 
> And some dicks. 
> 
> But mostly feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congrats, here are a bunch of feelings and a little smut! I'm afraid that due to medications I have to take that make me drowsy and lose focus, I had to add a chapter five because it's difficult for me to drag this chapter out. So chapter 5 is gonna be lit af.
> 
> Important note: I have added some new tags because of this chapter, involving self harm. I don't feel like it's terribly graphic, but if that kind of thing bothers you at all, please just be aware.

It had been two weeks since the death of "Alice," and therefore it had been two weeks since Newt had made any contact with the precursors. 

What had been a daily occurrence was now non-existent. At first, Newt had suffered violent withdrawal symptoms, but luckily most of those had faded away.

He was improving, slowly, but easily became frustrated when he couldn't quite hold on to a thought, theory, or idea. Newton was a man whose mind was always buzzing, even before he shared it with another entity, so not being able to pull up the correct thought, or explain a thought correctly, was wearing on him.

Newt had finally been given a cot to sleep on, but Hermann could tell he still wasn't sleeping very much. Certainly not long enough for it to be of any use in helping to heal his mind.

Hermann sat on an uncomfortable chair by Newton's cot, watching the biologist try to string together a proper sentence. It broke Hermann's heart, and would have even if he hadn't loved the man. To go from being a literal genius, to someone struggling to describe the simplest thing, would have been hard for any academic to watch.

But, since it was Newton, it was so much worse.

"It's like knowing that the file I want is on the hard drive, but not being able to find it." Newton was saying. "Checking every variation of what you may have called it, searching through multiple folders...but you still can't bring it up."

Hermann gave him a slight nod and said, "That does sound terribly frustrating, but if you want your cognitive functions to improve, you must start sleeping more."

"You know I can't," Newt said, almost too softly to hear. "The nightmares are too intense."

Hermann leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Newt, pulling him against his chest.

"I know," he said, just as softly, into Newt's messy hair. "I know they are."

Leaning back a bit so that he could see Newt's face, but not releasing him, Hermann continued, "I have some good news, though. You've been doing so well that you've been approved to be moved to real quarters. There will be guards stationed at the door, unfortunately, but it will be much better than here."

Newt grabbed onto Hermann's shirt sleeves, bunching the fabric up in his hands, and said, "Really? They trust me that much?"

Hermann smiled and said, "Well, I may have put in a good word or two. Your room will be directly across from mine."

"Now," Hermann said, gently loosening Newt's hold on him, "Please try and get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning." 

With that, he leaned forward enough to give Newt a feather-like kiss on the forehead; then he grabbed his cane, rose, and left the cell for hopefully the last night.

Hermann could never quite stop himself from smiling after sharing small bits of intimate affection with Newton. It had been as easy as breathing, but Newton was in no condition to discuss things like what they were to each other, or what future they might have together.

Hermann's mantra had become _one day at a time._

**

Newt found that being in old pajama bottoms and a threadbare tshirt on a real bed was disconcerting now. 

A lot of things were disconcerting now.

He had been instrumental in Mako's death. Mako, who had been nothing but kind to him. Mako, who was strength and determination rolled up into a small, cute package. 

Honestly, Mako's death was enough to break him without even getting to the part where he almost destroyed earth with a mega kaiju.

But yeah, that had happened, too. He was told that a young cadet had died in that battle, 

And then, on top of that, another unforgivable sin: He had nearly killed Hermann.

He remembered everything, it just felt like he was watching a movie, like it was happening to someone else. He couldn't even regain enough control to help Hermann, so if not for Liwen interrupting, Newt was fairly sure that the he who was not him would have chocked the life out of the only person who mattered in the entire, stupid, fucked up world. 

That same person who had been with him through the whole ordeal. That same person who should have been terrified of him, but wasn't. 

That same person who he loved. 

Newt shook his head, then dug his nails as deep as he could into the flesh of his left arm, where it was covered in kaiju art. 

He raked his nails down his arm, watching as blood began to seep through the colorful artwork. 

He hated his tattoos now. How could he have been so stupid? He immortalized creatures who killed hundreds of thousands of people. Newt gave a humorous laugh as he started on the next arm. 

He was supposed to be some sort of genius, but he managed to fail in every way. 

He was pulled from his reverie as the door to his new room opened. 

There was no time to hide his arms from Hermann.

In the blink of an eye, Hermann was across the room, his cane tapping furiously on the concrete floor.

He reached out and grabbed Newt's hand, the one that had been doing the damage, and yanked it away from his opposite arm.

All Newt could think is that he'd let Hermann down spectacularly, again. 

He was busy staring at his lap when Hermann dropped his cane, causing Newt to look up as the heavy wooden handle hit the floor.

Just as quickly, Hermann was on the bed with him, and was gathering Newt into his arms.

"Newton," he breathed into Newt's hair, "Please stop hurting yourself. You've already been hurt enough."

"Have I?" Newt said, just as quietly.

Hermann opened his mouth to argue, since OF COURSE Newt had suffered enough. He'd been suffering for ten years! 

Instead, the mathematician was caught off guard by the feeling of Newton mouthing at his neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses.

Hermann closed his eyes and tried to regain any form of composure. He didn't want to stop what was happening, because it was long overdue (at least in his opinion) but the time and place didn't feel right.

"Newton," he tried, but the biologist was moving down his neck, leaving scratches from his stubble, and Hermann could hardly string together a proper sentence. 

Newt had been right, that was really frustrating.

"Hermann," Newt practically whined, "Please. I need to feel something besides guilt and regret and pain."

"No," Hermann said firmly, causing Newt to stop in his ministrations and look up.

Hermann saw Newt's face fall, and then there were tears in his eyes, threatening to spill over. 

Hermann placed a gentle hand on Newt's face and said, "I just meant that I would rather do this when you're better. When it's not just...I don't know...easy. When it's for the right reasons."

Newton began to laugh, and rather than back away, he pulled himself practically into Hermann's lap, being mindful of his bad leg.

Hermann felt Newton's erection through the loose pajama pants he wore, and suddenly just about every other thought in his head was gone.

Newt ground against him, gently. "It's not just for those reasons, I swear. It's because I've always wanted you, and I'm pretty sure you want me, too." Newt punctuated that last bit by lining up his hard cock with Hermann's equally hard cock and grinding down again.

Hermann was struggling. "Newton, of course I...that is...the work was the most important thing, because of the war. But that moment when I saw you convulsing on the dirty floor of our lab because you'd just done something idiotic, I thought my heart was going to explode. I thought you'd really killed yourself, just like I'd always feared. That's why I showed up to drift with you. By my calculations, one more drift alone would have killed you. I had wanted to save you...but I couldn't, in the end. I failed you."

Newt shook his head, but no words would come. So, as he'd done during the war, he took action instead.

Newt smashed his lips against Hermann's, trying to pour every ounce of love, passion, and respect that he felt into the kiss.

Hermann didn't move at first, but a second later he'd wrapped a steadying hand around Newt's waist and was kissing him back.

It was Hermann who opened his mouth first, allowing entrance as they deepened the kiss. Newt began grinding again, just enough to feel something, but not enough to get any kind of satisfaction from it. 

They slowly began to lower themselves onto the bed, with Hermann on his back and Newt on top, making sure his knees were caging Hermann's hips on each side, so he wouldn't actually be putting any weight on Hermann. The last thing Newt ever wanted to do was hurt him again.

The kissing and grinding continued at a leisurely pace, until Hermann finally broke away, gasping, and said, "Tell me what you want."

"You," was all Newt said as he began kissing and sucking on Hermann's neck again. He began a slow descent, unbuttoning Hermann's dress shirt as he went, and thanking whichever god might exist that Hermann wasn't wearing a million layers today.

With each button that vanished, more of Hermann's pale, flawless skin was bared, and Newt chased each inch with his lips and tongue.

When Newt reached Hermann's waistband, he tugged it a bit away from Hermann's skin, as if asking permission.

Hermann seemed to consider for a moment, but ultimately nodded his consent.

"Awesome!" Newt exclaimed, popping the button of Hermann's trousers, as if he had just won some grand prize.

Hermann couldn't help but smile, because it was the most Newt-like behavior he'd witnessed in weeks.

Hermann lifted his hips slightly, to allow Newton to pull his trousers all the way off and toss them to the floor. 

"Of course you wear tighty whities," Newt said, with a fond smile on his face. 

Hermann could feel his face heating up from the observation. 

"Well," he said, with some of his past arrogance, "If I'd known this was going to happen, I would have worn something else."

"Nah, I like these," Newt said as he reached down and palmed Hermann's very obvious erection. "They don't leave anything to the imagination."

Hermann made a choking sound in response.

Newt removed his hand and replaced it with his mouth. He mouthed at Hermann through the thin layer of cotton, causing it to become even more transparent. 

"Newton," Hermann hissed out between his teeth, "Please do something else."

At that, Newt's head whipped up and he quickly said, "Anything?"

Hermann considered him for a moment before finally replying, "Yes. Anything."

"Cool, because I'd really like you to fuck me," Newt said, as if he were talking about the weather. 

Hermann choked again. 

When he regained his composure (other than the fact that his face was beet red) he said, "Are you sure? That's a big step and you've been through so much..."

Newton looked unimpressed with his excuses. "Of course I'm sure, and you did say _anything_."

Hermann sat up at the waist and removed his unbuttoned shirt, throwing it to the floor to join his trousers. Then he reached for Newton and pulled his tshirt over his head.

Now it was Newton's turn to blush. 

"I'm sorry about the tattoos," he said, barely more than a whisper. 

"They're fine," Hermann said, as he pulled Newton against his chest, so that they were practically molded together. 

"They're NOT fine..." Newton tried to protest, but Hermann cut him off with a kiss. 

"They are part of you," Hermann explained, "And I love you, which means I love them, too." 

Newt's eyes widened at that. "You love...?"

"Damn it," Hermann interrupted. "I do love you, but I didn't mean for it to come out just then. I was contemplating something more romantic for when I finally told you."

Newt started laughing then, a full-blown belly laugh the likes of which Hermann hadn't heard in years.

When he finally caught his breath, he said, "You absolute dork. That was the perfect time to say it. And I love you too, obviously."


	5. Meaner Than My Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The full monty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joining in on the "Hermann fucks the Precursors out of Newt" trope. No shame, no regrets.
> 
> P.S. I might write an epilogue with a time skip.

_"It's the same old theme_  
In two thousand eighteen  
In your head, in your head, they're still fighting  
With their tanks, and their bombs  
And their guns, and their drones  
In your head, in your head, they are dying..." 

**

Still chuckling a bit over their accidental love confessions, Hermann and Newt started kissing again. 

"Take these off," Hermann insisted, plucking at the drawstring of Newton's pajama pants.

"Yes sir," Newt managed to say in between kisses. He oozed off the bed just enough to get the bottoms off and onto the floor, taking his boxers, too, because he was a problem-solver.

Hermann was still wearing his underwear, because despite the fact that they were terribly see-through, it just felt like exposing that one last bit of himself would truly make this real.

"Newton," Hermann said, putting a gentle hand against his partner's chest, "Do you have any...that is...how do you intend we...?"

"Herms," Newton cut him off. "It's fine. I have stuff in the nightstand with some dirty magazines."

Hermann arched a questioning eyebrow at that, but Newton just shrugged.

"I was locked up, alone and being observed, for weeks. The first thing I needed to do after changing to this room was jack off for two days."

Hermann flushed at that, making Newt chuckle.

With one last peck, Newt got up and crossed the small room to the even smaller nightstand, which was the only furniture he had been allowed to have, aside from the bed. 

Hermann watched him with interest, admiring his backside. 

Newt returned quickly with a mostly full tube of lubricant, and joined Hermann on the small bed.

They began kissing again, though more slowly, but with just as much passion. 

Pulling back just enough to speak, but with their lips still touching, Newt said, "I'm going to take these off of you, okay?" He punctuated his question by snapping the waistband of Hermann's underwear. 

"Yes," Hermann breathed before pressing his lips firmly against Newton's once again.

Newt shifted his position just enough for Hermann to lift up his hips, while Newt pulled the fabric down over Hermann's erection with one hand.

Still being careful not to put any strain on Hermann's bad leg, Newt managed to get that last layer off and onto the floor with the rest of their clothes. 

Back into position, hovering over Hermann, Newt said, "I know that this is the least sexy part of this whole thing, but do you want me to prep myself, or do you want to do it?" 

In lieu of an answer, Hermann said, "Come here" and pulled Newton further up his own body, so that Hermann could reach his hole properly.

Without breaking eye contact, Hermann uncapped the lube and squeezed a liberal amount onto three of his fingers, taking a moment to warm it up a bit. 

"It's a pity I can't see what I'm doing. I actually find this part to be perfectly sexy. Next time, perhaps. This time, I don't want you to take your eyes off me."

"Dude," Newt said, sounding breathless, "That was the hottest thing you've ever said. I mean, other than, 'Newton I've come to drift with you and then make out with you.'"

Hermann rolled his eyes. "I said no such thing." He then punctuated that statement by shoving two fingers into Newt with no warning.

Hermann watched in fascination as Newton's eyes practically rolled out of his skull, his back arched, and he let out the filthiest moan that Hermann had ever had the honor of hearing.

He caused that. He, Hermann Gottlieb, was able to give someone he loved that much pleasure. Twenty years ago, he would have blushed and laughed at the very idea. But now, here he was, with a lap full of xenobiologist, with two fingers crammed up his pretty ass.

Life was strange.

Hermann began scissoring his fingers, but Newt had already begun rocking back onto them with more force. 

"Hurry," Newt manged to say, though barely. "Need you. Been so long..."

As Hermann added a third finger, he tried to stamp out the shame he felt. Newton hadn't meant it that way, but how long had he been without any human companionship? How long had he been completely alone? The entire ten years?

Hermann shook his head a bit, trying to physically discard those thoughts. He needed to be focused on the present. He needed to be focused on Newton, because he had a lot of time to make up for.

"Okay, I'm ready," Newton whined. Hermann smiled up at him and removed his fingers.

"Good," Hermann said, picking up the lube once more. He reached between himself and Newton to coat his own cock and give himself a couple of strokes.

Newt scooted back a bit, so that his ass hovered directly over Hermann's cock, which he held steady at the base.

As Newt began to lower himself, Hermann quipped, "I hope you truly are ready, Newton, because I am about to 'rock your world' as they say."

"DUDE," was all Newt could get out before sinking down onto Hermann's cock, bottoming out in one go.

Hermann had to close his eyes for a moment and think about math to keep from cumming right then and there.

When he was finally able to look again, Newt had leaned over, both hands on Hermann's chest to steady him as he began moving. 

Hermann's leg made it difficult to match Newton's rhythm with his own, but he did try. One particularly hard thrust upward as Newt came down caused the biologist to make a sound that was so sinfully delightful that Hermann had to close his eyes again.

Not that that helped with the sensation of Newt's heat wrapped around his cock, or the sounds Newt was making, or the sounds of slick skin slapping against skin.

"I'm close," Newt said, "Are you?"

"God yes," Hermann replied through gritted teeth.

Newt slammed down once more, just as Hermann took his partner's neglected cock into a firm grip and tugged once...twice...

And then Newt was coming all over Hermann's hand, and onto his stomach and chest.

When Newt tightened around him, Hermann came hard inside his lover.

"Oh my god," Newt said, breathing heavily. He winced a bit as he lifted up and let Hermann slip out of him, then immediately rolled over onto his side so that he could wrap Hermann up in his arms.

"I'd let myself get brainwashed by precursors all over again if I knew _that_ would be waiting for me at the end of the rainbow."

Hermann frowned, "Don't even joke about that."

Newt squeezed him a little bit tighter and said, "Don't worry, you fucked them out of me."

"NEWTON!" Hermann shouted, his face turning several shades of red. 

Newt just laughed.


	6. Epilogue: Welcome to the New Age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's some fluff and sex. You're welcome.

_"And in the naked light I saw_  
Ten thousand people, maybe more  
People talking without speaking  
People hearing without listening  
People writing songs that voices never share  
And no one dared  
Disturb the sound of silence..." 

**

**5 Years Later...**

Newt woke up, safe and warm, as he had for the past five years.

He squinted at the morning sunlight shining through the sheer bedroom curtains ("Honestly, Newton, there is no point to even having curtains if they don't block out sunlight," Hermann had complained. "It's for the aesthetic," Newt had replied) and smiled to himself.

Newt still struggled, sometimes, with nightmares and guilt that plagued him. He had yelled, and screamed, and cried, and tried hurting himself more times than he could count (or even remember.) Because of Mako, because of cadet Suresh Khuran, because of everyone lost at the Moyulan Shatterdome when his hybrid drones had attacked, because of almost ending the world.

He blamed himself for the downfall of Shao Industries, as well. But, at least that one had had a silver lining. Liwen Shao had joined the PPDC in their attempt to open their own breach and end the war permanently.

Next to him, his favorite grumpy lab (and life) partner stirred.

Now that he knew Hermann was waking up, Newt rolled toward him and wrapped him up in his arms.

"Morning," Newt said, softly, right into Hermann's ear.

With a quirk of his lips, Hermann said, "You have morning breath."

Newt gasped, pretending to be scandalized. He even mimed clutching his pearls. "That does it!" Newt said, dramatically flinging the duvet off them. "I try to be all romantic and all you can do is crack jokes! And to think, I used to be the funny one!"

Hermann rolled over to look at his flailing boyfriend, his smile growing.

"No, darling," Hermann said as his eyes crinkled in the corners, "I was always the funny one."

Newt rolled his eyes as Hermann pulled him back into his arms.

"I'm sorry," Hermann said, hugging Newt to his chest, "You are very romantic and I am overcome with emotion just from being in your presence."

"Good," Newt said, giving Hermann a peck on the lips that soon turned into a kiss to his neck, then his collarbone...

Then, as he had for five years, Hermann turned serious for a moment. "Newton, please take your morning medication first."

With a sigh, Newt flopped back over to his side where his meds and a glass of water awaited.

"This is stupid," he complained, as he always did, after downing the two pills. One for anxiety, and one anti-depressant for his PTSD.

"I know," Hermann agreed, as he always did. Then he opened his arms to Newt, inviting him back.

Newt slipped easily into his arms and snuggled up close.

After a moment of companionable silence, Newt raised himself up on one arm, just enough to look Hermann in the eyes.

"Hey," he said, as if he's just worked out a new theory, "Do you think we should get married?"

Hermann blinked owlishly at him.

"I mean," Newt went on, rushing his words, "I would understand if you don't want to because of what I did and how broken I am and how you could easily find someone much better and I wouldn't blame you at all if you wanted to break up with me now..."

Hermann cut him off with a kiss.

When Hermann pulled back, he looked Newt straight in the eyes and said, "Did you just propose to me, Dr. Geiszler?"

Newt looked at him, eyes squinting as if trying to figure out if he was joking or not.

"Yeah, I guess I did," he finally said.

Hermann was still staring at him, so with as much confidence as he could muster, Newt said, "Will you marry me, Dr. Gottlieb?"

Hermann's lips quirked up at that, since he didn't think Newt had ever called him "Dr. Gottlieb" during their entire association. He leaned in and captured Newt's lips again, before pulling away only enough to speak and replied, "I thought you'd never ask."

"Holy shit!" Newt exclaimed, startling Hermann and almost falling off the bed, "We're engaged!"

In his jubilation, he crashed their lips together once more, though this time quickly tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

They started to grind together, lazily, not feeling any particular sense of urgency.

When the hot and heavy makeout started to become sloppy and desperate, Hermann pulled himself out through the fly of his plaid pajama pants, and then released Newt through the opening of his ridiculous dinosaur boxers.

Taking them both in hand, Hermann set a brutal pace, which bordered on painful due to the lack of any kind of lubricant, but was somehow completely perfect. 

After about a minute of that, he wiped a bit of pre-cum from the tips of both their cocks and the slide got easier, but Newt could swear that Hermann tightened his grip even more.

"I lo-. That is, I love -" Newt tried to speak, but was too caught up in the feeling of Hermann's hand and cock against his own.

"I love you, too," Hermann gasped against Newt's temple. That was all it took for Newt to come with a whine, spilling all over Hermann's hand.

When Hermann felt Newt's release, he finally came with a sigh, stroking them both through their orgasms with their own warm cum as lubricant.

Finally, Newt flopped off of Hermann and onto his back.

Breathing heavily, Newt turned and said, "I love you. There, I finally got it out."

Hermann was gazing at him, a little starry-eyed, and just smiled.

When he opened his mouth, Newt thought that he was about to get a sonnet or something. A ballad. Maybe a dirty limerick.

Instead Hermann looked over Newt's shoulder and said, "I still despise those curtains."

Newt had never loved anyone more.


End file.
